Book the Thirteenth: A Frightening Finale
by Musether
Summary: Book the Thirteenth has arrived! Who is the mysterious man and what happens to the Baudelaires, not to mention Mr Poe. Also, who started the mysterious fire of Mulctuary Money Management?
1. Chapter 1

Book the Thirteenth: The Frightening Finale 

Chapter One: A Fateful Fire

It was late, at least 10:00 pm and Mr Poe was working the late shift at Mulctuary Money Management. He was working in the Transaction office, a great room of steel, Plexiglas and closed circuit surveillance. He had just finished checking the analysis records and cash transactions for the day when a small monitor on his desk started to flash red and beep. Mr Poe knew immediately what was happening, he frantically rushed to the fire alarm but he was too late. A crackle reached his ears and he could smell smoke, burning plastic and frayed computers, the fire had started it quickly caught up with him and engulfed him completely. However he managed to reach a window and dived through it, landing on the pavement a foot below, Mr Poe hurried to the Police Department and told them quickly what had happened. The police responded quickly and within minutes there was a barricade around Mulctuary Money Management. Mr Poe sighed wearily, it was 8:00 am and he has managed to catch a few hours sleep. His family had come to see him at the local hostel he was staying at and he felt revitalised because of that. He yawned, got dressed and then went to his local café, it was Café Salmonella. Mr Poe reached it and went inside, forcing a grim smile on his face he greeted the salmon dressed waiters and then sat down to his breakfast.

Meanwhile at Hotel Dénouement, Klaus, Sunny and Violet Baudelaire were finding it very hard to concentrate. After the uneventful cab drive from Briny Beach to the Hotel they were bored and now they were faced with the big problem. How they were going to warn the volunteers and get into the hotel. Klaus looked up at the hotel. It stared down at him like an empty shell, one that was derelict and rotten with age. Above the door a motto was engraved on the stone, _Memento Mori_, then Klaus looked at the doors which Kit Snicket had entered into the Hotel, they were big, old and wooden. The knockers were made of rusty iron and around the framer were eyes, millions of dark green eyes. On the actual door were brass studs nailed in deeply and showing clear signs of rust. Klaus was sure that this place had not been inhabited for a very, very long time, after a while Kit came out of the hotel and beckoned the Baudelaire's out from the taxi and into the damp, poorly lit hotel. They entered the hotel and stared around the big hall. There was chaos everywhere and over in a dark, dusty corner was a concierge desk. Just behind that was an old fashioned elevator that had a poorly made sign stating it was out of order. Violet looked around and sighed, and then she looked down at her shoes. She had promised her parents that she would look after her siblings but now they were in a shoddy hotel with people belonging to V.F.D, Meanwhile she had walked over to the lift and was busy pressing buttons and fiddling with a large knob on the wall. Sunny crawled over to the desk and started to gnaw on it. Klaus meanwhile was testing the doors for reinforcement and weight stability. He figured it out just when Violet managed to start the elevator up and Sunny had gnawed a good sized piece of wood from the desk and carried it over to Klaus. Klaus smiled at his sister and then they realised the hotel had gone quiet. They looked round in dismay and saw that all the volunteers had disappeared and they were quite alone in the room. Klaus wiped his glasses and then barricaded the door with what ever came to hand. After a while the door was blocked with bits of wood, chairs, tables and pieces of brass. Violent pulled her hair up through the ribbon and went to the elevator. She examined it closely and saw the numbers 1-13 marked on the wall. Violet rapped on the wall and found that it was hollow; quickly she scraped away the wallpaper of green eyes and tore open the wood panelling beneath, inside was thirteen buttons. Under each button was a brass letter plate stating what floor the elevator went up to. She called Klaus and Sunny over and Klaus began to look more closely at the letter plates. Sunny said "Yakamino?" and Violet replied "Hopefully this will take us to where V.F.D is meeting." Klaus stuck out a clean hand and delicately pressed Floor 13, a rumble could be heard and the elevator descended from above. It reached the ground floor and the Baudelaires entered the dingy, grimy elevator. Like everything else in the hotel it was unclean and seldom used. As they went up, Klaus thought about what they would encounter at the top, Violet thought about whether the people up there would be friend or foe and Sunny thought about whether she could defend all of them with her teeth.

Meanwhile Mr Poe had finished his breakfast and having tipped the salmon dressed waiter with a three digit bill, he left the restaurant. Once outside Mr Poe turned left to leave the Fish District when an old man in a dark grey overcoat shuffled from the Various Finery Disguises store opposite Café Salmonella and proceeded to beckon Mr Poe, quickly Mr Poe followed the old man past the Victorious Financial District, the Flower District, the Garden District and into the Rental District. Once they had entered, the old man hurried to a grimy terraced house. It looked like all the others in the row, dirty, grimy and generally unappealing. Mr Poe followed more slowly and as they entered, Mr Poe looked up to see a face staring at them from one of the upstairs windows. The inside was better then the outside, the walls were painted white with a faint hint of green eyes. A vase of fresh flowers was on the small table opposite the front door. All around the room were curtains framing the noble things V.F.D had done and only four of them were closed. Mr Poe assumed doors were behind the curtains and he was right. However, the man went upstairs and turned left on the landing, instead of continuing up however he rapped on the wall and it opened. Mr Poe followed him inside. Inside was something that astonished him. Mr Poe would never forget it in his entire life. Inside was a massive room filled high with files. They rose to the ceiling. However the man was only interested in one thing. In a glass display box and protected by bars lay the secret too terrible to be told, lying on a plush pillow of gold velvet. Lying next to it was the complete set of the secret that was not to be named and finally, next to that was the secret Mr Poe had been waiting for.


	2. The Confusing Concierge

CHAPTER TWO: THE CONFUSING CONCIERGE

The man stopped and turned to face Mr Poe. He spoke in a heavy, clipped accent "Mr Poe, my name is Jacques and I am the only remaining member of the Montgomery family. You have been brought here to help us find the Baudelaires and get to Hotel Dénouement on time for the Thursday meeting." Mr Poe coughed into his handkerchief and nodded, and then they left the room and went up to the tallest room. There Mr Poe changed into a Very Fancy Disguise and sent aVery Fraught Danger message. The message read: _To all Volunteers, there is a meeting on Thursday at Hotel Dénouement. It is imperative that you get there by Thursday in order to attend the meeting. Also, the Baudelaires are also wanted, it is urgent that they are found!_

_Signed,_

_Mr Poe. _After he had sent it Mr Poe paused for a second then headed back down stairs. The old man was waiting for him and as soon as he appeared, they both went outside and hailed a taxi to take them to Hotel Dénouement.

The taxi slowed down and a grubby, fat man looked out of the scum-infested window "Eh? You want a ride? To where?" The driver looked confused as the old man explained that they wanted a ride to Hotel Dénouement. As the driver grumbled, Mr Poe opened the door and slid into the back seat. The old man did the same, though not before moving a dark brown anorak from the seat. He gave a map to the driver and off they went.

Mr Poe coughed into his handkerchief for quite a while and when he stopped, the old man spoke to him from the front seat. "As soon as we get to the Hotel, it is vital that we stop Olaf and Esme Squalor." Mr Poe nodded and coughed even more into his handkerchief. They soon arrived at Hotel Dénouement and as it drove around the lake, Mr Poe stared deep into the pitch black, icy waters of it. Then he looked up and at the Hotel. It was massive, towering high above the taxi and very imposing. The old man paid the driver and stepped out of the taxi along with Mr Poe. The old man squinted for his eyes were not what they used to be and looked through his small, green glasses. Mr Poe looked around and saw another taxi just pulling. A very frail, very old, very pale lady stepped out and looked at the Hotel. The old man went over to her and greeted her warmly "Josephine! It's been so long since the fire!" She smiled at him and turned to pay the taxi-driver. The old man winked at Mr Poe and then while the taxi driver was distracted, took a small, damp object out of the passenger seat and stowed it safely into his overcoat. Then they turned and headed into the Hotel. Meanwhile, high above them floated Hector's hot air balloon. Everyone on board rushed to look at the Hotel slowly coming into view as the balloon descended onto the roof of the Hotel, right above the Tanning Salon. Mr Poe stepped into the grimy Hotel and took a deep sniff of musky odour. But he didn't need to for it hit him like a brick wall as soon as he stepped through the doors and around the rubble of chairs and other irrelevant objects. The foyer was quiet, too quiet and as they stared around the lobby it seemed like they were the only ones left.

Eventually the old man spoke and led the way to the elevator. Josephine whimpered in fear but was coerced into getting into it when Mr Poe grabbed her firmly and pushed her in. Then he stepped in along with the old man and together they ascended to the 13th floor.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Klaus, Sunny and Violet stepped out of the elevator and looked around in surprise. Instead of the griminess of the place, it was clean and many doors led off the central hallway. Each door had its own plaque stating what was inside and Violet saw that in the corner was a Laundry Room and straight ahead of them was a meeting room. They slowly advanced towards it and gingerly, turned the knob and stepped into the crowd of people.

Mr Poe, Josephine and the old man disembarked the creaky old elevator and the old man led them to a doorway that was shrouded in darkness and cobwebs. They all stepped into the room and Mr Poe gasped in shock. For it was a complete Library of Records, but not any library. For this one was filled with all the answers to the questions, and it had many important artefacts hidden within, the old man lead them to a row of books on the far side of the room and pulled out a book titled _Various Fancy Dialogs for Parties _and limped into a musty, old room. But it was not the room that held their gaze. It was what was in the cases that captivated and enchanted them. Inside three of the cases were: The Sugar Bowl, The Snicket File and The History of V.F.D. Josephine gasped in shock for in one of the other cases was a file for the Anwhistles. The old man turned to them and spoke in a hushed voice "You must tell no-one about this, my name is Hal. I used to work at the Library of Records at Heimlich Hospital before it burned down." Mr Poe nodded gravely and they spun round as, suddenly the door to the Library slammed close and a wheezy laugh along with the faint smell and smoke of a cigar reached their faces. Out of the many rows of books Sir approached and spoke hoarsely "That horseradish is poisonous, just like the Baudelaires, you won't live for much longer! Heheh" Josephine cried out in fear and then, Hal hobbled forwards and locked the door in Sir's face. He turned to them and spoke gravely "Quick, we must act now!" He ran to the Sugar Bowl and took it. Josephine took the rest of the files and Mr Poe took the Snicket, Kafka, Winnipeg, Salmonella, Widdershins, Squalor, Strauss, Baudelaire, Poe, Olaf, Spats, V.F.D, Kelliher, Heath and Kent files before rushing to a concealed entrance and following Hal and Josephine through. Smoke filled the hallway and they made their way to the roof coughing. Justice Strauss, Olaf, the Baudelaires, Esme Squalor, Carmelita Spats, Jerome Squalor, Kit Snicket and many other people were up there. They were all crammed into several boats and Hal, Josephine, Mr Poe, Babs, Duchess Winnipeg, Frank, Dewey , Captain Widdershins, Hooky, Fiona, Phil, the freaks, Nero, Mr Remora, Mrs Bass and Bruce all squeezed into the last remaining boat. Then, they toppled off the side and floated safely down to the sea, with the other boats in tow. Far, far behind them the hot air balloon flew high above them, and behind it was Hotel Dénouement alight like a beacon as the fire raged within it.

As they slowly meandered through the sea, they wondered what would happen now. Eventually they reached an inlet leading to Lake Lachrymose and docked at Damocles Dock.

They carefully clambered out the ill-fitting, wooden boats and Justice Strauss turned to Olaf and his crew. Standing next to Count Olaf was Esme Squalor. Carmelita Spats and Ernest. However they were quickly outnumbered ten to one and on all sides loomed members of V.F.D. Count Olaf leered and turned, but instead of running he merely took his shoes off and with that, began running across the slippery planks of the jetty. They all chased after Olaf, Esme, Carmelita and Ernest but to no avail. The four quickly ran out of the gates and to a waiting automobile. As it turned, Mr Poe caught a glimpse of the driver and to his surprise it was Josephine. Luckily she had dropped the files and they were laid over the planks where she had dropped them as she had hurried to the black jeep. It took off and headed in the direction of the City, no doubt back to Olaf's castle or Esme's penthouse. Violet looked at Sunny and Klaus in utter shock, then the silence was broken by Sunny's voice "Where they going?" Violet merely sighed and began picking up the scraps that remained of the Quagmire commonplace books. Mr Poe turned to Hal and Hal in turn, turned to the volunteers. "It is time to exterminate these pests once and for all!" V.F.D cheered and as a mob would do, they all set off for the Anxious Clown Restaurant. As they approached, they saw it was closed. Massive, thick iron shutters lay over the windows and over the door was a large, wrought iron frame. Just then, Larry the waiter opened the doors and the volunteers swept into the restaurant. Violet, Klaus and Sunny followed suit and eventually sat down at one of the many tables, watching as the shutters were rolled down again, then the meeting truly began.

Meanwhile back in the City, Olaf snickered evilly as they sat in the luxurious penthouse that was of Esme Squalor. As they sipped Aquatic Martinis they dreamt up new ways to steal the fortune. Eventually, Olaf moved over to the enormous window and pointed with glee. His long, scraggly, bony finger was pointed in the direction of Mulctuary Money Management and Esme laughed shrilly as she too joined him, looking at the magnificent building that was the Mulctuary Money Management Bank. They laughed in chorus as they descended in the newly "in" elevators down back to the black jeep. There, they set off to the Bank ready to steal the fortunes and torch the Winnipeg Mansion.

Mr Poe coughed into his handkerchief as the meeting wore on, eventually they came up with a plan and everything was agreed. They all piled into several Anxious Clown cars and set off for the City. The only one that stayed behind was Larry and no-one noticed him as he slid the Sugar Bowl from under the table, and into the handbag of Duchess Winnipeg. Then they laughed raucously in the empty restaurant before getting into a grey, leather Rolls Royce that would escort them to the Winnipeg Mansion.


	3. The Great Deception

CHAPTER THREE: THE GREAT DECEPTION

As V.F.D approached the city, Larry and Duchess Winnipeg approached the Winnipeg Mansion and found it deserted. Dust lay like a thick blanket over everything, as though it had not been used for 13 years, indeed it was true for it had not been inhabited since I met Beatrice and she stole the Sugar Bowl from Esme Squalor. Sometimes, I sit there and wonder: _Was it necessary? Was it absolutely necessary for me to steal that Sugar Bowl from Esme Squalor? _The answer, as I am sure you all know was……

To be continued…….


End file.
